“Mommy Loves Her More Than Me.”

When my sister told me that my daughter said this to her, my heart broke. Since giving birth to our new baby girl in December, my oldest has been gradually acting out more and more. I never thought the transition would be this difficult since she has two other sisters through her dad and step mom, on top of two step-siblings via my husband…Apparently I was wrong.

She’s constantly pushing buttons and testing the waters with my husband and I. She’s talks back, blatantly doesn’t listen, and tries to be sneaky about things. We ask her daily why she’s doing these things. We ask if she’s upset about anything at school, at her dads, or here. The answer is always no. I have her look me in the eyes and say to her that if anything is upsetting her she can tell us. That we won’t be mad or upset with her. I’ve asked out right if the baby being here upsets her. Again, the answer is no. And the bad behavior continues.

I’m literally at my wits end when it comes to this issue. So much so that I’m strongly considering setting her up with a therapist of some kind. The reason behind this is that the issues I’ve already listed aren’t her only problems. She has an anxious side to her that she comes by naturally. Anxiety issues run on both my side and her dads. She’s also always had a slight sensory issues too. From a very young age she’s been very picky about the way her clothes feel and loud noises (public bathrooms are still hit or miss) of any kind. She’s also always been a worrier. Just a couple weeks ago she was VERY worried about what she would do if she got fired when she was 25…for real. So between her already existing issues, and now the overwhelming need for attention I think it may be more than I can personally handle on my own. Plus, I genuinely feel like it could potentially help her a great deal. I’d rather try it than not try and wonder if it would of helped the situation resolve faster or more importantly make things easier for her in a more timely manner.

Clearly we have a lot to think about when it comes to these issues. We’re also in a very busy season of life, which is likely causing some of the upset. My husband thinks once our move is complete, school is out and we all finally get a chance to slow down that things will turn around. But my mommy heart hurts so bad for her (despite the anger her behavior drums up) that I’m in “fix it” panic mode. Like all thing in the parenting world I’ve got to take it a day at a time. Be loving, but still teach her life lessons. Work on my own patience and just be the best mom I know how to be to her and all our kiddos. As the saying goes, “this too, shall pass”.

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